Do You Know Your Worth?
What's up world?!
It's been a minute...actually it's been six months and 20 days since my last post. But hey, who's counting?
I've realized I only take the time out of my schedule to write when I feel there’s something that truly speaks to my heart. The topic I chose for today is one that’s been running through my mind for quite some time. And today of all days, seemed like the best time to finally sit down and put my thoughts on paper.
So, the question of the day: Do You Know Your Worth?
A very simple question, yet also such a brain teaser when it comes to supplying a response.
As you sip on your morning coffee and prepare yourself for a productive work week, let's take a moment and dig a little deeper. When it comes to your everyday relationships, friendships, and people you give your valuable time to, are they truly worth your time and energy?
Are there “friends” in your circle who simply drain you and you’d rather spend time alone than listen to them complain about their problems? Do you have family members who only feel it’s necessary to speak to you when they’re in dire need of something? And when it comes to your love life, let’s go even deeper and draw up memories of that last ex or person of interest. Ask yourself what occurred to make this person transition from being the so-called love of your life to now someone whose name you can’t bear to utter aloud. At some point in our lives, we all have had individuals around us who didn’t deserve the privilege to be in our presence. For me, I relate to this mostly with my love life.
I could go on and on about how this guy broke my heart or that guy didn’t appreciate me. But instead I’ll focus on why it even occurred in the first place. I simply was unaware of my own beauty. I failed to realize I shouldn’t ever have to chase after or beg anyone for attention. And thankfully, through experience and trial and error, I’ve learned God will always give us signs when we need to move on from a situation. Your intuition is one of the most powerful tools one can use to uncover and free yourself from the bullshit. And frankly, most of us don’t use it.
We continue to date Tom, Dick, and Harry when we witness firsthand how he stares at every attractive human being who struts by. We ignore our intuition when Adam doesn’t respond back to simple text messages, but he’s been heavily active on Facebook and Twitter. We become clueless and blind to the truth even when its directly under our noses.
And let’s be honest, dating in the world we in live in today is no cakewalk. No one seems to desire a commitment. I see so many bounce from one bed to the next…an endless cycle of bodies. Random sex without any knowledge of a partner’s name or STD/HIV status is a common and normal thing in our society. And let’s be clear. I’m not knocking or throwing the next person under fire for doing this. You like what you like and should live your life on your own terms. Do what makes you happy. However, for me personally, and at this stage of my life I have no interest in it. And truthfully, I believe this to be one of the reasons why I’ve remained single.
Now don’t get me wrong. In my early twenties, I have LIVED and I’ve done some things I’m not proud of. I’ve seen and experienced it all, everything from DL men, abusive men, men who lie as often as they change their underwear, and scrubs whose only ambition in life is for you take care of them. And at the end of the day, I always ended up right back at square one...single.
With that being said, as I get older and inch closer and closer to 30, I realize more than ever what I desire from a partner. It’s all about commitment and a connection. Substance over random flings here and there.
I do realize that what I want isn’t easy to find. But I am willing to wait for what I deserve. And if it means I’ll remain single for another five years, then I’m content with that. I’ve even taken the time out to sit down and generate a list of qualities detailing exactly what I need from my next mate, just so I don’t become detoured and remain in sync with what I can allow and won’t.
Let's just be real here. Life is too damn short to settle for the bullshit. And I'll be damned if I settle for anyone who has no potential to enhance all the good I already have going for myself. The goal is to continue moving forward to bigger and better. Thank God for growth!
So, when it boils down to your love life are you just wasting your time with someone who you know damn well isn’t bringing anything to the table? Are you moving from one partner to the next in search of something you’re not sure you’ll find? Or are you in the same space as me, willing to wait for someone who’ll appreciate you and everything you have to offer?
Knowing your worth is in my opinion, the number one thing one should be aware of when dating and seeking relationships. So, take a moment and ask yourself, do you know yours?
Bright and early this past Friday morning, I rolled out of bed and got dressed. I was exhausted from lack of sleep and the long drive from Orlando to Atlanta the day before. But somehow, I still found myself more excited than I had been in a while.
Ten minutes later, I was on the road toward my destination. With my friend, Casey, at the wheel, I was able to prep myself for the day. I pulled out my phone, opened a Joyce Meyer app, and reread a scripture that informed me God would be with me and empower me to do great things that day.
We pulled up to the theatre not long after. Casey smiled and wished me the best of luck, as I exited her car and then walked across the street.
As I entered the theatre lobby, I was greeted and then handed a notebook, pen, and packet that read ‘Tasha Smith Actors Workshop’ at the very top.
I entered the theatre doors on my left and found a seat in the back row of the almost filled-to-capacity theatre. It wasn’t much of a surprise. After all, this was an actors workshop taught by Tasha Smith, who’s acting credits include Empire, Power, and multiple films and a television series directed by Tyler Perry. Newbies and seasoned actors alike, we were all there to soak up her knowledge and learn as much as we could to develop our craft.
A few minutes later, we were all on our feet giving Tasha a standing ovation as she walked onto the stage. Even from the back of the theatre, I could feel her vibrant energy, as she welcomed us to her three-day workshop and beamed about how excited she was to work with us.
She interacted with us by introducing the acting method we’d be covering and answered any questions or concerns regarding the workshop. Immediately after, we were all on stage with her and lead through a series of exercises that got us so deep into our emotions, most of us couldn’t stop the tears from flowing.
I won’t go into full detail about everything that transpired during the weekend, because it’s much more beneficial for one to attend the workshop and actually experience it. But we were able to perform our required monologues in front of Tasha and also scenes that she gave us for collaboration with a partner. We applied the acting techniques she taught us and received very honest and helpful feedback about our performances.
So, if you were to ask me if I’d recommend attending a TSAW workshop, even after my many years of acting onstage, I’d give you a definite yes. Even if you believe you know everything there is to know about acting, attending a workshop can still benefit you. I recall being told that from a college professor years ago. I didn’t take her words seriously because I didn’t see the point when the focus of my major was already Theatre Performance.
But working with Tasha taught me so much about myself. I can now unleash my tear floodgates much easier as I tap into my emotions. Receiving direct feedback from her has already helped me gain much more confidence in my craft. It felt like she genuinely cared about all of us and her feedback was catered to each individual. I was also able to network with people who love acting as much as I do, handout my business cards, and also leave my headshots and resume for casting directors.
My weekend with Tasha at TSAW was truly a unique and rewarding experience. I was able to learn more about my own instrument and most importantly, myself as a person.
Three years ago, if anyone had asked me would I return to South Carolina to live after moving away, my answer would've been a blunt, "Hell to the no!" Maybe it's because I was born and raised in SC and it was all I really knew. Even as a kid I was fully aware that there was so much more out there and if I truly desired a career in entertainment I'd someday have to leave to make it all a reality.
So, I tried to move out on my own a few years ago to California, home of the stars and where dreams come true. I had the time of my life. I made new friends, partied, explored LA, partied, went out on auditions, and partied some more. But to my dismay, I ended up right back in South Carolina the following year.
Fast forward to August of last year. With a solid plan and my partying mindset fading away, I relocated to Cali once again. I really did believe nothing could stop me. I’d been there before and knew exactly what to expect.
The first few months passed by pretty smoothly. I got adjusted to my job and continued to have a plan for every step of the way. But a few months ago, things began to change in ways I never expected. There were days I felt so alone. I'd made friends at work and bonded really well with my roommates, but nothing compared to the connections I'd made back home. I didn't miss South Carolina one bit, but missed my family dearly and felt in need of a support system. Along with that, I struggled to figure out a concrete new living situation. And after I tried and tried, I realized that things just didn't feel "right"...not at all like they had before. I wasn't sure if I had planned things out too much or what. So I made the decision to relocate back home.
With age comes wisdom and I'm wise enough to know that sometimes when you think you have all the answers and everything figured out to a T, God can step right in with a different plan. As of right now I don't have all the answers. However, I do know what I want for my life and believe I've most definitely been blessed with the ability to make it all happen. It's all just a matter of when and how.
Who knows where I'll be six months to a year from now. Maybe Atlanta. Maybe Florida. Maybe I'll just continue to travel until I find my ideal place. Or hell, maybe my ass will still be right here in South Carolina. I've reached a point in life where I believe in the impossible and know anything can happen when it's least expected. I'm open to all possibilities.
So stay tuned...There's so much more to come.
To Freak or Not to Freak
The question of how soon can one become intimate after meeting someone new has been posed time and time again. To further explore this topic, one must ask themselves, “What exactly am I looking for?”. Already possessing the answer is the key to determining whether or not you should throw caution aside and get lost between the sheets.
So have you already come to terms with what it is you’re searching for? Ladies, do you care if the guy you’re seeing thinks you’re easy? Is your only concern getting your rocks off and sending his ass home afterward? If so, I say go for it. You only live once, right?! And who cares what he thinks if you’re not interested in getting to know his last name or what he likes to eat.
Now if you’re fully aware of your intentions to settle down and fall for “Mr. Right” instead of “Mr. Right Now”, you might wanna pump your brakes and ponder on this for a moment. If your long-term goals include settling down to get that ring and walk down the aisle, your best bet might be to cross your legs and count to three whenever temptation creeps through your mind.
Let’s say you really like this guy and want a commitment but you go and pull out your freak flag within two weeks of knowing him. Then you find out you despise the way he snores, or the way he smacks his food. Maybe you discover he has a baby mama or two, or worse that he’s married and has been keeping it all a secret from you! See where I’m going with this? If not, let me make it perfectly clear…If you’re in search of commitment, WAIT TO HAVE SEX!
In my opinion, there’s something sexy and classy about not jumping into bed with someone you barely know. So many women, and men as well, can’t figure what it is they’re doing wrong. They want the perfect spouse but are so quick to take off their clothes in the heat of passion. Now don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of relationships that come from one night stands and having sex on the first few dates. It all depends on the individual.
So, the decision is really up to you. If you think it’s best to wait and the person you’re dating disagrees, then maybe he or she isn’t the right one for you. Remember, there are tens of thousands of other fish in the sea. But no matter what you decide, to wait or not, ALWAYS wrap it up! Safe sex is always the way to go!
The Power of Believing in Yourself
As I sit here reflecting over my life and everything I’ve been through, the good and the bad, I realize how blessed I truly am. I’m in such a great place right now and I’ve honestly never been so happy. It’s hard to believe that just last year I was in such a depressed state of mind. I was upset that I had to leave California and return home to SC. I’d sleep all day, couldn’t hold a job, and had absolutely no motivation to write or record music. I’d given up on myself and my purpose in life. I figured there was no point in even dreaming anymore.
So what changed? I finally became fed up with the idea of being unhappy. I took a second to really ponder on what makes me happy and where I really need to be in life. The answer was quite simple and I was well aware that nothing I wanted would simply come to me if I continued to sit on my ass. I came to the conclusion that I’d never be completely happy holding down any job that doesn’t include acting, music or writing. And what’s the fun in life if you can’t fulfill your dreams and aspirations?
I sat down and created some goals for myself. Some of them included finding a job, saving as much money as I could and trusting God would help me. These goals later became I contract I drafted for myself. I set a timeframe for moving back to Cali, signed it, dated it and promised myself I’d do my absolute best to achieve these goals. I taped this contract up on my wall so I’d see it every day and never lose focus or sight of what I really wanted.
And here I am almost a year later, seeing everything become reality. I’ll be relocating to California next month and I’ve realized moving back home for a while wasn’t a step back. It was necessary for me to really get my head together. While back home I’ve also interned with a film company, worked on film sets and even learned the basics to writing a movie script. I feel like everything is happening when it’s supposed to and I’m on a great track to pushing my career forward.
Was it easy? Hell no! But it was possible…with determination and faith that God would get me where I need to be. If I don’t succeed it out in the world alone, at least I can say I tried and I won’t have regrets years from now because I’ll know I’ve done everything I could to make things happen.
If I can do all this within a year’s time, so can you! With complete focus and faith, we can do anything we set our minds to. Life’s entirely too short for doubt and procrastination. Figure out what it is you want out of life and get up and go after it! You’ll be surprised at how things begin to work out in your favor when you believe in you.
I'd like to officially welcome you to my blog! This blog will serve as a place where I can let go and fully express my thoughts and feelings about current events and topics that I feel need to be discussed. Hopefully my posts will inspire you, make you laugh, or just be an awesome way for you guys to get to know me on a personal level!
If you can relate to a post or have anything you'd like to say, don't be afraid to comment! I'd love to hear from you guys!
Lover of good books, romantic comedies and ALMOST anything with a hot beat...