What's up world?!
It's been a minute...actually it's been six months and 20 days since my last post. But hey, who's counting?
I've realized I only take the time out of my schedule to write when I feel there’s something that truly speaks to my heart. The topic I chose for today is one that’s been running through my mind for quite some time. And today of all days, seemed like the best time to finally sit down and put my thoughts on paper.
So, the question of the day: Do You Know Your Worth?
A very simple question, yet also such a brain teaser when it comes to supplying a response.
As you sip on your morning coffee and prepare yourself for a productive work week, let's take a moment and dig a little deeper. When it comes to your everyday relationships, friendships, and people you give your valuable time to, are they truly worth your time and energy?
Are there “friends” in your circle who simply drain you and you’d rather spend time alone than listen to them complain about their problems? Do you have family members who only feel it’s necessary to speak to you when they’re in dire need of something? And when it comes to your love life, let’s go even deeper and draw up memories of that last ex or person of interest. Ask yourself what occurred to make this person transition from being the so-called love of your life to now someone whose name you can’t bear to utter aloud. At some point in our lives, we all have had individuals around us who didn’t deserve the privilege to be in our presence. For me, I relate to this mostly with my love life.
I could go on and on about how this guy broke my heart or that guy didn’t appreciate me. But instead I’ll focus on why it even occurred in the first place. I simply was unaware of my own beauty. I failed to realize I shouldn’t ever have to chase after or beg anyone for attention. And thankfully, through experience and trial and error, I’ve learned God will always give us signs when we need to move on from a situation. Your intuition is one of the most powerful tools one can use to uncover and free yourself from the bullshit. And frankly, most of us don’t use it.
We continue to date Tom, Dick, and Harry when we witness firsthand how he stares at every attractive human being who struts by. We ignore our intuition when Adam doesn’t respond back to simple text messages, but he’s been heavily active on Facebook and Twitter. We become clueless and blind to the truth even when its directly under our noses.
And let’s be honest, dating in the world we in live in today is no cakewalk. No one seems to desire a commitment. I see so many bounce from one bed to the next…an endless cycle of bodies. Random sex without any knowledge of a partner’s name or STD/HIV status is a common and normal thing in our society. And let’s be clear. I’m not knocking or throwing the next person under fire for doing this. You like what you like and should live your life on your own terms. Do what makes you happy. However, for me personally, and at this stage of my life I have no interest in it. And truthfully, I believe this to be one of the reasons why I’ve remained single.
Now don’t get me wrong. In my early twenties, I have LIVED and I’ve done some things I’m not proud of. I’ve seen and experienced it all, everything from DL men, abusive men, men who lie as often as they change their underwear, and scrubs whose only ambition in life is for you take care of them. And at the end of the day, I always ended up right back at square one...single.
With that being said, as I get older and inch closer and closer to 30, I realize more than ever what I desire from a partner. It’s all about commitment and a connection. Substance over random flings here and there.
I do realize that what I want isn’t easy to find. But I am willing to wait for what I deserve. And if it means I’ll remain single for another five years, then I’m content with that. I’ve even taken the time out to sit down and generate a list of qualities detailing exactly what I need from my next mate, just so I don’t become detoured and remain in sync with what I can allow and won’t.
Let's just be real here. Life is too damn short to settle for the bullshit. And I'll be damned if I settle for anyone who has no potential to enhance all the good I already have going for myself. The goal is to continue moving forward to bigger and better. Thank God for growth!
So, when it boils down to your love life are you just wasting your time with someone who you know damn well isn’t bringing anything to the table? Are you moving from one partner to the next in search of something you’re not sure you’ll find? Or are you in the same space as me, willing to wait for someone who’ll appreciate you and everything you have to offer?
Knowing your worth is in my opinion, the number one thing one should be aware of when dating and seeking relationships. So, take a moment and ask yourself, do you know yours?
The question of how soon can one become intimate after meeting someone new has been posed time and time again. To further explore this topic, one must ask themselves, “What exactly am I looking for?”. Already possessing the answer is the key to determining whether or not you should throw caution aside and get lost between the sheets.
So have you already come to terms with what it is you’re searching for? Ladies, do you care if the guy you’re seeing thinks you’re easy? Is your only concern getting your rocks off and sending his ass home afterward? If so, I say go for it. You only live once, right?! And who cares what he thinks if you’re not interested in getting to know his last name or what he likes to eat.
Now if you’re fully aware of your intentions to settle down and fall for “Mr. Right” instead of “Mr. Right Now”, you might wanna pump your brakes and ponder on this for a moment. If your long-term goals include settling down to get that ring and walk down the aisle, your best bet might be to cross your legs and count to three whenever temptation creeps through your mind.
Let’s say you really like this guy and want a commitment but you go and pull out your freak flag within two weeks of knowing him. Then you find out you despise the way he snores, or the way he smacks his food. Maybe you discover he has a baby mama or two, or worse that he’s married and has been keeping it all a secret from you! See where I’m going with this? If not, let me make it perfectly clear…If you’re in search of commitment, WAIT TO HAVE SEX!
In my opinion, there’s something sexy and classy about not jumping into bed with someone you barely know. So many women, and men as well, can’t figure what it is they’re doing wrong. They want the perfect spouse but are so quick to take off their clothes in the heat of passion. Now don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of relationships that come from one night stands and having sex on the first few dates. It all depends on the individual.
So, the decision is really up to you. If you think it’s best to wait and the person you’re dating disagrees, then maybe he or she isn’t the right one for you. Remember, there are tens of thousands of other fish in the sea. But no matter what you decide, to wait or not, ALWAYS wrap it up! Safe sex is always the way to go!